Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of The Year

I can't believe that after my rant of a few days ago I am actually saying this but, today is the first day of the rest of the year. (and everyone says, "No s**t, Sherlock") Today, July 1, marks the downhill slide towards the end of the year. The summer solstice has just passed and the days are getting shorter. All the unfulfilled resolutions made on New Years Eve are now closer to being tossed onto the pile of good intentions which rest in the closets of our minds. (Did I really just use that metaphor? Ouch!)

I like July in Arizona. The summer rains are close and the oppressive heat will soon be a memory. This is always a time of reflection for me. I look back to what I have accomplished and look forward to what still needs to be done. Afterwards I compile a mental list of the things that have stood out. I realized during my musings that the most memorable things during the first six months of 2008 have been“Three-Finger-Moments.” I analyzed whether some of these incidents could be re-classified as accidents and un-equivocally can say, "no." I now offer some samples of the difference between a "Three-Fingered-Moment" and a normal oops. Not all these examples are from 2008 and I will not admit if any of these "incidents" are my own moments of greatness. But they are all true.

You have made an innocent mistake if your cell phone falls out of your shirt pocket while you bend over to pick something up.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if your cell phone falls out of your pocket a second time while bending over to pick up the object you ignored after your cell phone fell out the first time.

You have made an innocent mistake if you lose a sock.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you can’t find the sock because you are sitting on it.

You have made an innocent mistake if you forget to turn off a turn signal after changing lanes.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you use a turn signal while going around a curve on a highway.

You have made an innocent mistake if you crash on your mountain bike.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you crash on your mountain bike while showing a friend how to clear the section they just bit it on.

You have made an innocent mistake if you strip an Allen head screw while trying to loosen it.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you strip the head of an Allen screw because you are loosening it in the wrong direction and have actually tightened it.

You have made an innocent mistake if you greet an acquaintance by the wrong name.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you greet your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend by the wrong name. (Bonus points are scored if it is the name of someone they hate. Plus, "Hey you" doesn't count as a "Three-Fingered-Moment", it counts as, well, I don't think I need to elucidate)

You have made an innocent mistake if you have a gastric-intestinal incident in public.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if you describe it in all its olfactory glory to your friends afterwards. (They really don't want or need to know)

You have made an innocent mistake if you forget to buy a present for a friend’s birthday and you grab an unused and unwanted item from a drawer and give it to them.
You are having a “Three-Fingered-Moment” if the item you give them is the present they gave you last year.

There are many more “Three-Fingered-Moments" that come, unfortunately, too easily to mind. But they are for another post. Have a happy downhill slide to 2009.

1 comment:

Anna said...

You are already on a "three fingered frank" roll. Can't imagine what the next six months will bring.